I'm NOT aFFraid to fall

try reading this while listenning to the song ...

"Somedays i feel like crying don't matter if it is rain or shine, i feel like my heart was broken at least a million times"

Like today, and i just ... did.... no reason at all or maybe every reason, for what is worth ... i don't enjoy crying i find it to be a very cheap cry for calling attention, pity or compassion ... but when i do i do it alone on my bed, i dont let anyone know except for maybe anyone who's reading, mainly cuz i hate it when everyone goes like: EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE U GOTTA BE POSSITIVE ... yeah whatever man!, i know better than that i know everything happens for a reason ... but sometimes u just need to let go and make a pause and go: WHAT IF THAT'S JUST A LAME EXCUSE FOR US TO SETTLE DOWN ?? ....

I went to the movies a couple of days ago with a very dear person of mine, my cousin, my brother mostly, and we talked about it ... but i do think everything happens for a reason... cause there we were at the movies cause my friend stood me up, and i was tired to actually make new plans ... so i went out with him and it was awesome; so my friend screwing on me happened in order of me going out with my cousin and catching up.

... awesome that while i write this down i have to confess that just a minute ago i was watching a movie about best friends, 2 girls that grew together and made everything together and plans and staff and got into this huge stupid fight but at the end of the movie they made up... and i started crying realizing that the reason why i was crying was because i think i don't have someone like that i don't think so anyways: there a couple of friends that i don't exactly know where in the FRIENDSHIP neighborhood are standing; there are others that have a condo in the neighborhood, but they r so left behind, i just dont know; and there's one that has a whole block, but she doesnt live there anymore, she just visits the neighborhood from time to time; there's a couple that have been there almost since forever but there's something missing can't pinpoint what though; there are the new ones, who i love dearly but they r still the NEW ones... and there is a MY family block, they r my best shot at longlasting relationships and thank god my family actually lives in the FRIENDSHIP neighborhood, i love that about us.

So, tonight i cried, cause tonight was my moment of letting go, of feeling down.. i dont let anyone tell me that everything is gonna be fine and stuff BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW THAT, "maybe is to soon to be sure but i really do believe that someday we r gonna have it all", but even though i know that... today i felt like crying, and i hope tomorrow i'll wake up dreaming again, because... life and time are just the path dreams have to become real. You just have to wait and cry from time to time to let go the bad feelings that keep us from keep on dreaming :)

"When the ride gets rough you gotta carry on", "and if the world stops spinning i'm not affraid to fall"

I'm not...